new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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