loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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