All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
