would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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