Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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