how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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