so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
