Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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