do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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