this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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