Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
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It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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