Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
