it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
