We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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