its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
