Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
