I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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