hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
