Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
