So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
