you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
