I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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