Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
