im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
