i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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