I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
