He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize