There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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