oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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