and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
