Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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