he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
