Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
