I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize