The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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