I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
A+ Viking dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
