She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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