i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
