that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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