The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
