yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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