I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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