using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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