Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
