You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
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Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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