new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
