I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
