strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
