No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I need to calm my uterus...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
