I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
