Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
smell my finger.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize