Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
