i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
