im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
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I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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