i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Of course I have a pirate flag
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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