i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
