you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
