I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
